Rompe el Mar - La 5ta estacion

Lo peor de no tener a nadie con quien compartir...es no tener nada que compartir...
[te lo robe, so what?]

Lluve afuera, hace frio adentro..Olga desea acabar con lo poco que queda despues de Noel, y yo leo tu blog..old days, i know but it was back then when you were [more coherent and] in a sort of way more open and true to yourself, It is funny how back then you felt the way i feel today. Life is a circle, but i never knew it was so closed. por lo menos me queda la satisfaccion de saber que yo lo di todo, no me quede con las ganas ni las dudas por primera vez, y sabes algo, no sera la ultima. La pasividad no me funciona, el pragmatismo es mi nueva religion. Being proactive, even when things dont work out like you wanted or expected them..at least gives you the satisfaction of knowing you did your best.. no regrets.

Im moving, out or abroad, but im leaving. Its scary, elevated to the tenth, I might have to leave the country, sooner than expected. I might have to change my lifestyle, my job, leave my friends behind and start from scratch...its the ultimate starting over.... and im scared. There is no discussion, i'll leave, but in the meantime i have to see life like someone on death row...all the things i'v taken for granted are suddenly precious and indispensables. Even the air i breathe will be different, and that, like many other things, i cant take away with me on my suitcase.

I will take all the steps necessaries, all the precautions, and try to make all the arrangements but at the end..its a toss of the coin..

My friends... i dont even want to think about it. I promised myself i would deal [and acknowledge it] once i have my plane ticket..if i start crying now i wont live to see my trip. So many thing are now pending, so many thinsg will be left undone, unsaid, unknown.....

The voices in my head tells me its good, its a change, change means im moving forward [?], that is not fear but excitement what freezes my veins... too bad my heart is deaf.

Rompe el mar con tu voz

Parte el aire con tus bailes

dejame tocarte dentro

donde no ha tocado nadie

Tus ojos me mataron una vez, y me mataron por siempre....

PD: I told you today about this, but you are still unaware... i said after new year, but i guess i'll wait longer. Im still doubtful whether you can handle the thruth.